Went to bed last night feeling ok, then listened to some music & the tears flowed. Tears for the things I can't do anymore, tears for the usual struggles (money, family etc), and tears for the life I used to have.
When I say that, I by no means hate my life, but it has been a struggle this past year & a bit. I was diagnosed with Fibro (widespread pain in most joints), ME (extreme fatigue: like I could sleep for 12 hours & wake up knackered) & depression. That caused me to lose my job & it caused huge problems in my family (due to my handling of the situation). I think I miss work more than anything, I miss the social aspect of it, this illness leaves me very isolated because I can't go out etc. I think thats the thing I miss about my life 2 years ago!!! ( never thought I'd be saying that)
Then I got my Bible out (which I haven't looked out in the past year) & read Job. It really put things into perspective. Job lost everything his livestock, his children, & while he still grieved, he also praised the Lord. All I've dont this last year is moan, complain, be angry etc & yet here is a man who lost everything & rather than blame God, he praised him. I found that incredible, to have such strong faith. I may not have my health, social life but I do have my family, my couple great friends, my fiance....so I have a lot to praise God for.....plus even after all the pain, the sickness & fatigue I'm still here.
Whether you're religious or not, I think we could all take a leaf out of Job's book, things can seem so bleak at times but if you really think about it we all have things in our lives (no matter how small) that we can still be thankful for, & will give us that lift to get through whatever comes our way.
C x
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