Well my wee Izzy was 2 today...we've only had her a few months but she's made such a difference to our lives. With my illness it can be really hard to stay positive & she'll come up & give you a kiss, it puts a smile on my face every time, and then when I'm sitting on my own, I always have someone to talk to, & better yet she doesn't answer back....lol

Think that's the hardest thing us fibro chicks have to deal with, the loneliness. When you're going through a flare-up, you lie on the sofa & watch the world go by. Everybody carrying on with their lives. Two years ago that would have been me, but now I'm more like an OAP than a girl in her 20's. Now my sister is back to school, my fiance is going away to work & I'm gonna be stuck here. I can't drive because of my pain so over the summer my sister has made sure I've been able to get out & about, even if I had a crap day the following day, it was worth it just to feel "normal", now she's going back to school I don't know what I'm going to do. Think they're be a few long days ahead.

People keep telling me it'll get easier with time, & I have to believe that or what's the point. No matter how dark the days are, we have all have to believe that there's light at the end of the tunnel otherwise there's nothing. Don't give up, keep "plodding" on, no matter how hard it is, there's people out there who love you & there's someone who above all will always be there for you, God.

Love 2 All,

C x

I haven't posted in a while, have had a bad flare-up which has zapped me of all my energy. Finding it really hard to deal with the hyper-sensitivity, if I'm poked in the arm, it feels like someone has stuck a knife in, if I scratch an itch, the pain literally takes my breath away. It's very hard to get people to understand how the simplest thing can feel like being stabbed.

Have been reading a book called "Coping with Fibro" & some of it makes since & some of it would kill me to do, I was also reading it to see if it would make good reading material for my mum & dad, as they're having a hard time understanding things. One day I'm complaining of pain in my back, the next it's a headache, the next it could be extreme fatigue....I can see why it would be hard for some people to understand, but it hurts so much when they look at you, & you know they're thinking "yeah right".

One of the hardest things for my dad to accept is that I don't work, I don't enjoy taking money from the government, but I know that I can't do it, some days I think yeah I could go out to work, others I can hardly get out of bed!

I'm not sure yet what I want to achieve through this blog, whether it's simply an online diary for me or whether I'm hoping to help others accept what's going on with them.

The main thing I have learnt the last few weeks, is that you have to be vocal, your nearest & dearest aren't mind readers, this is something I always struggle with, I don't want to be treated differently because I'm ill, but I am different, I can't do the things other people do, I have to pace myself even for simple tasks....accepting this is the 1st step to accepting your unwell!!

Gentle hugs to all,
C x